I can proudly say that we are Christians although this label comes with a lot of expectations. Being a Christian does not end in attending church services, being baptized and reading the bible. Being a Christian is living to worship God and worshiping God is not a two-hour gig. It's a lifestyle.
When I look back, I find my old self getting temporary happiness from drinking alcohol, being critical of other people, exchanging gossips with my co-workers, and spending money on just about anything. I was a sinner and I could never guarantee that I will never sin again. To people who knew me, they would find it almost impossible that I will be changing my ways. Sometimes, I even surprise myself with the changes in me.
I am finding it hard to tell other people how I felt when I found God. It's so hard to explain.
It coincided with the major decisions that we made in our lives. I resigned from work, wherein I am earning decent amount of money and was just awaiting my promotion, which sounds stupid to other people. Why would I leave a high-paying job?
The initial reason for this is for my husband to be able to accept job offers that has night shifts. I refuse to leave our son alone at night so I decided to give up my job and find a day job instead. Then, there were times when I feel empty at the end of my shift. Yes, I am earning money for my family but that's it. I realized that the only reason I am holding on to my job is the pay. I have been missing teaching kids.
One day, while I was waiting for my interviewer, for a social media specialist position for a well-known college, I called my mom. My mom asked me to come back to Aklan.
I miss them terribly. I told her I will talk to my husband and I will call her back. I called my son who was there in Aklan for vacation and asked him what he think about moving back to Aklan. He said he likes it better there.
I went home after the interview and spoken with my husband. He said that he would like it better there. Everything fell into place. The dissatisfaction, the heaviness when it comes to financial matters even though I am earning more than enough, these led us back to Aklan.
It's easy to make decisions when you know that God is with you. Primarily, there would be worries, apprehensions, fears, even. But, knowing that God will never let us down, I am confident that we will make it. The amount of money that we will be making started to mean less. I know that as long as we persevere and do everything that we can, God will provide and we will be earning more than what we need, having spare to save for the future.
Next time, I will blog about my testimonials about how God showed us that he will always shower us with blessings as long as we are faithful to Him.
I am just a baby, when it comes to Christianity. But, I know that God knows what's in my heart. Some people may judge me and the decisions that my family and I made but it's okay. I wouldn't mind. I have contentment in my heart as long as I am with God.
With this contentment, there is still one thing that I am wishing for. I hope that my loved ones will get to experience this feeling. Just thinking about God's goodness makes my eyes well up in tears. We have been taking Him for granted, being lazy to go to church, committing sins with ease, without any heavy feeling when I do, and even forgetting to pray at times. Still He remained true and faithful.
I was tired - tired of worrying about how to make more money, tired of worrying about the future, tired of worrying how to get back at people who did me wrong. I was wrong. Money is important, we need it to have a decent life. But, we can be satisfied when we have enough and be thankful when we have more than enough. The future will come no matter what and those who are faithful have nothing to fear. Anger and revenge, as I read from somewhere, is like drinking poison then waiting for the other person to die. It will never happen and once it does, you will be disappointed because it will not be as satisfying as you thought. Tired and wrong - what a fatal combination.
He found us. Gone are the restless kids inside us. He gave us peace of mind.
Some may not agree with our choice, but as what a friend said, "It's not the religion, it's not the leader, it's about your personal relationship with God. When you seek for Him, you will find him."
I believe in the importance of respect and having an open mind. I respect other people's opinions, their beliefs and their faith. We can never choose these things for others. It would be wrong to force someone else to believe in something because it is what you believe in. A relationship with God is something very personal and in my case, the happiness that I feel right now is immeasurable.
Credits (images used as background for verses)
http://fromcheaptherapy.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/open-door.jpg
http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/15300000/sadness-depression-15307976-748-658.jpg
http://iwritealot.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Road-to-Perdition.jpg
*Posted on April 24, 2013
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