January 5, 2011
6:31 PM
Bedroom
"Tayo lang naman ang gumugulo sa buhay natin eh," said Enteng's mom. I am watching "Kung ako na lang sana", a movie starring Sharon Cuneta and Aga Mulach. It's true. It's one thing that, I can say, makes me say that I have matured. There are times when I feel like bawling like a baby, throwing anything I get my hands on, ripping papers, punching the wall or hurting myself. But, what I do is take it with a smile and go on with my life. I won't frown and do something stupid. I would think about it, what should be done, if there's any, and move on. Sometimes, though, I wonder if that's really living. It's like I am now void of extreme emotions.
While watching Enteng's dad suffer from Liver Cancer, I got scared. Suddenly, I cried, fearing old age and eventually, dying. I may feel strong surrounded by my loved ones but when I think of growing old, without my loved ones around, I don't think I can be happy. It will surely hurt seeing Franz heartbroken, seeing him cry and not being able to do anything about it, not being able to protect him from such pain. It can't be avoided by taking food supplements, by applying sunscreen and eating vegetables. Well, I guess all I can do is to seize the day. Make the most of every passing time and prepare my son to be strong, to be wise and try to save more money to leave him something to start a life with when we're gone.
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